The Misadventures of Elise: The Wardrobe Malfunction and the Tumble

So I’m at work and go to the bathroom.  While in there, I hear a snapping sound.  

I’m wearing a front clasp bra and that’s what that snapping sound was…the clasp.  

So I’m standing there, bra cups hanging to the side and trying to figure out what in the heck I’m supposed to do.  

I’m looking in the mirror and realize this is a fairly noticeable problem.  I can’t just leave things as they are and hope that no one can tell.  And I certainly can’t go without the bra.

And it’s too early just to “go to lunch” so I can’t run home or to the nearest store.

Thankfully, the supply closet isn’t far from bathroom, so I go there in search of a paperclip or duct tape or staples…basically anything that can hold things together.  

I found zip ties!  

So I scurry back to the bathroom with a pair of scissors and a bright blue zip tie (my other choices were bright orange or bright green, wearing a black bra and shirt, figured blue would be the least noticeable).  

FullSizeRender-1I threaded the zip ties through the loops where the clasp used to be, then zipped them together.  It was a little tricky trying to hold my shirt up and keep…well, everything…out of the way while doing it.  Guess I could’ve taken the bra off, but I’d basically would’ve had to undress in the work bathroom, and that wasn’t a prospect I was wanted to investigate (the door lock is unreliable at best).

I manage to get the two sides zip tied together, though that made it a little tighter than normal.  And it’s a little hard and scratchy against my chest, but at least I’m not going braless!!  

I survive the rest of the day without problem.

Until I got home.

I’d worn heels to work.  They’re comfortable heels, wear them on a regular basis without issue.  They are a little wide though, which may account for the following incident.

I called my mom on my way home, as I always do.   I was still talking to her as I entered my apartment.

I close the door behind me and, as I do, one of my ankles decides to give up for the day.

Just as I convince the one ankle to just give me another couple seconds to get my shoes off…the other one quits on me too.

I hit the floor.  And I hit it hard.

I didn’t fall forward.  Didn’t fall backward.  It’s almost like I just sat down.

Keep in mind, I’m about 5’7″ when barefoot.  With the heels on, I’m pushing six foot tall.  So, it wasn’t exactly a short fall.

Thankfully, no one lives in the apartment below mine.  If they did, they’d have surely thought the ceiling was about to fall in.

To top it all off, when I fall, I drop everything I’m holding, including my phone which drops into my purse.  When I picked my phone back up, my mother is still talking!

She never even noticed that I wasn’t on the phone any longer!

I had to tell her what happened.

Then I had to listen to her laughter!

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