The Break I Didn’t Ask For – But Desperately Needed

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

On July 1st of this year, I was laid off.  We had recently been acquired, and with the transition and restructuring, my position was eliminated.

I let myself mope for a few days, catch my breath, and just rest. I figured I’d earned it.

The very next week, I landed in the hospital with diabetic ketoacidosis. I was there for almost a week, which was not exactly the break I had in mind.

Turns out, if you ignore your body long enough, it will absolutely find a way to get your attention.

My mom passed away in 2018. For the ten years before that, I was her primary caregiver. After she died, I wanted nothing to do with doctors, hospitals, or anything that meant sitting in a waiting room trying to act like I wasn’t scared. So, I just avoided all of it for years.

Right around the time I lost my job, I was also switching up my depression meds, finally starting ADHD treatment after years of pretending I didn’t need it, and trying to figure out this new diabetes thing. My body was already running on fumes. It just decided it was done.

It wasn’t some big, dramatic scene. My body just quietly threw in the towel.

(Actually, it was a big, dramatic scene, too, but we’ll just leave it at that.)

It didn’t take long for me to realize I’d just been getting by, not really living. And that difference? It matters a lot more than I wanted to admit.

That little break I thought would last a few days? It turned into a month-long pause. But honestly, I needed that time to actually stop and think about what I was doing.

Some changes were actually pretty simple. Tweaking my meds helped settle down stuff that had been quietly sabotaging me for years. Life got a little easier. A little more predictable. Calmer, even.

Other changes? Not so easy. Figuring out diabetes meant I had to relearn how to eat, cook, and even think about food. And for someone who loves to bake and thinks taste-testing is basically a moral obligation, that’s huge. Seriously, it’s like learning a new language.

On the plus side, my house is cleaner than it’s ever been. Thank you, ADHD meds.

I’m still figuring things out. Still adjusting. But my health? It’s steady now. Holding. Level.

And having that steadiness has changed how I look at everything else.

Obviously, all of this changed my personal life a lot. But it also made me take a hard look at my career, too.

I’ve been thinking a lot about who I want to be and what I actually want to do.

Some things I always knew, but I never really gave them enough importance before now.

• I can’t lead well if my own life is running on empty.
• I don’t believe in jobs that ask me to erase myself anymore. That’s just not happening.
• I’m more selective now, and that’s on purpose. I’m not settling.

As I look for what’s next, I’m being more intentional than I’ve ever been. I want the next thing to actually fit.

I know what I’m good at. I know how I show up. And I know the kind of work that actually energizes me instead of draining me. Took me long enough to figure that out.

I’m someone who fixes broken systems, teaches people how to grow into their work, and steps into leadership when it’s needed. Whether that’s with customers, teammates, or teams that need steadier ground, I’m there.

I’m not in a rush anymore.

I’m paying attention now — to my health, my energy, and the kind of work that actually sustains me.

I don’t need everything to be perfect.

I just need it to make sense for me.

And I trust myself to know the difference.